May 19, 2010
Delay
I'm sorry, this month's lesson is going to be late. My husband's sister passed, his elderly aunt came to live with us, and I've been battling bronchitis for two weeks. Use this month to focus on a fun date with your daughter and journaling--or whatever the Lord leads you to do. Blessings.
April 27, 2010
Lesson Four: When We Lie Down and When We Rise Up
Hearts Drawn Close
Month Four: When We Lie Down and When We Rise Up
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them…when you lie down and when you rise up.” Deut. 11:19
Imagine our hearts are snow-globes—little clear glass jars filled with glittery snow that falls all around a beautiful scene. From sunup to sundown, life shakes us up. All we can make out all day are quick, short glimpses of our hearts. But God gives us two very special moments each day, when all the glitter has settled and we can see clearly inside ourselves and others: when we wake in the morning, before we start our work for the day; and as we settle into our beds in the evening, when our day’s work is done. Twice a day we are still enough that our glitter settles and our hearts shine bright and clear.
Your Morning Snow-Globe
Think about that moment you awaken, when your hair is tangled, your pajamas are wrinkled and bits of leftover mascara dot your cheeks. Your mind has not yet begun working; you are simply awake. How you choose to spend those few quiet moments when you have no one to impress and nothing pressing reveals who you are at your very core. How do you respond to the stillness God designed? Do you take the opportunity to offer a simple prayer from your heart to His? Are you at peace with your soul while it is still, content to surrender your day to Him? What is your morning “scene,” Mom? Is it beauty and peace? Do you allow God to gently shake your snow-globe at the start of your day?
Or do you begin shaking yourself silly right away? Do you grab your globe from God’s hands and immediately begin ordering your day in your own way? Are you compelled to start shaking your world into place, controlling every detail from the moment your eyes open? Is your morning scene chaos and jumble? Full of Him or full of only yourself?
Your Daughter’s Morning Snow-Globe
God has given our daughters their very own proverbial snow-globes. The question is, who holds our daughter’s snow-globes? Do we believe we hold them in our own hands? Do we awaken them in ways that are convenient for us, with our own agendas, pushing them onto a path we have chosen for their day? Or do we awaken them gently and help them to seek God in the stillness of their mornings? Are we pointing our daughters immediately toward shaking themselves silly, or are we teaching them to yield to God’s gentle rocking?
My favorite way to wake my girls is to slowly open their blinds and sing a little chorus about how God’s mercies are new every morning. Then I love to lean over to kiss them and whisper, “Good morning, Glory.” I love to see their sleepy smiles and hear them whisper back their love for me. I encourage them to take a few minutes to slowly move into the day God has planned for them, and to seek His will for their day. It is a beautiful way to begin the day.
Your Daughter’s Evening Snow-Globe
The end of the day—the settling of our snow-globes—is just as important as the beginning of the day. When our work is done and we’ve walked through our days, how do we settle our daughters for sleep?
Often my mind and heart are still in fast forward when it’s time to settle my daughters into bed, thinking about all the work I still need to do after they are in bed. Or longing for the quiet and rest I have after they are asleep. I have to remind myself it is important to guide my daughters through this special time at night. It is a mother’s place to teach our daughters to gently quiet themselves and move smoothly into the stillness.
When my babies were young, I spent time nursing them down to sleep. I fed them at my breast and rubbed their soft heads; I sang over them and whispered prayers in their small, pink ears. As they have grown, I have changed techniques, but my aim has always been to love them during those special moments. Over the years I’ve taught them hymns, told them stories from my childhood, listened to their dreams and hopes, and worked through difficult issues they’ve encountered during their days. I am blessed to be a part of their settling times.
Your Evening Snow-Globe
Finally, moms, how do we settle ourselves? It’s true we have a lot to accomplish in our days and are shaken up quite a bit. But what we do with the last few minutes of our day can usher us gracefully into peaceful sleep if we are intentional. My favorite nights are the ones when we go to bed before we are ready to go to sleep. My husband and I play cards together or read side by side in bed. Sometimes we read and pray through Stormie O’Martian’s book The Power of a Praying Parent. When we take the time to settle, we are able to move past day-to-day “shop talk” into heart-conversation, which includes sharing how God was present in our days.
How do you settle yourself at night? Do you find you fall into bed exhausted, never giving yourself a chance to see how your snow-globe scene has settled? Or do you give God the opportunity to show you your own heart and set it aright? Don’t miss that opportunity; God is waiting for you each night.
Consider…
[a few questions to mull over in your own heart]
Commit…
[storing God’s Word in your heart and soul]
Ask God to help you choose your memory verse for the month. Craft it, post it and memorize it. You will be asked to recite it with your daughter at the next group gathering.
Write…
[ideas for your mother-daughter journal]
Idea: Tell your daughter the different bedtime routines you’ve had for her through the years. Ask her if she remembers the earliest ones. Ask her which are her favorites.
Idea: Share your own childhood bedtime routines (good ones) with your daughter. Tell her about special mornings and evenings you experienced in your own childhood.
Idea: Ask your daughter how she would like to be awakened and put to sleep. Tell her how you would like to be awakened and put to sleep. (Maybe you can plan to care for each other in those ways.)
Respond…
[ideas for special time with your daughter]
Idea: Put together a “Bedtime Box” full of special photographs, things she’s made, mementos from your childhood, music cd with special songs, etc. to pull out at bedtime. Use it regularly or just on special occasions. Add to it as you go along, and think about sending it with her when she moves out.
Idea: Record the two of you singing your favorite bedtime songs. Allow her to fall asleep to the recording.
Idea: Wake your daughter with a special song, music cd, or phrase. We like Steve Green’s Morning Light: Songs to Awaken the Dawn. We also like to play the special music we played during their deliveries.
Idea: Pray for God to give you and your daughter a special song to sing at bedtime. Repeat the song every night as part of your routine. We sing a benediction from the New Testament; I believe the tune and the words are now engraved on their souls.
Idea: Have tea in bed with your daughter. In the morning, or just before bed (make sure it’s decaf), bring in a beautiful tray of tea and cozy up to your daughter in bed. Ask her what’s going on in her mind and heart. Then simply sip and listen.
Progress…
[what comes next]
After you read the teaching and choose your memory verse, use the questions, ideas for journaling, and ideas for carving out special time with your daughter as God leads. Remember, discipling is not checking off a list, it’s developing a relationship. If you are hosting the next group gathering, make sure to schedule your planning session for about two weeks from now. Your leader will email the next Participant Guide and Hostess Guide to you.
Pray…
Oh, Lord, you hold our every moment in Your hands. You planned for special new beginnings with each sunrise and tender mercies each with each dusk. Thank You for creating these precious times when we can see hearts clearly, as You always do. Use these times to align us with Your heart and Your plans for us. We love you so dearly, and we want to live in close communion with You each and every day. We praise You in the name of Your Son, who experienced the blessing of drawing close to You each morning and evening when He lived on earth. Amen
Month Four: When We Lie Down and When We Rise Up
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them…when you lie down and when you rise up.” Deut. 11:19
Imagine our hearts are snow-globes—little clear glass jars filled with glittery snow that falls all around a beautiful scene. From sunup to sundown, life shakes us up. All we can make out all day are quick, short glimpses of our hearts. But God gives us two very special moments each day, when all the glitter has settled and we can see clearly inside ourselves and others: when we wake in the morning, before we start our work for the day; and as we settle into our beds in the evening, when our day’s work is done. Twice a day we are still enough that our glitter settles and our hearts shine bright and clear.
Your Morning Snow-Globe
Think about that moment you awaken, when your hair is tangled, your pajamas are wrinkled and bits of leftover mascara dot your cheeks. Your mind has not yet begun working; you are simply awake. How you choose to spend those few quiet moments when you have no one to impress and nothing pressing reveals who you are at your very core. How do you respond to the stillness God designed? Do you take the opportunity to offer a simple prayer from your heart to His? Are you at peace with your soul while it is still, content to surrender your day to Him? What is your morning “scene,” Mom? Is it beauty and peace? Do you allow God to gently shake your snow-globe at the start of your day?
Or do you begin shaking yourself silly right away? Do you grab your globe from God’s hands and immediately begin ordering your day in your own way? Are you compelled to start shaking your world into place, controlling every detail from the moment your eyes open? Is your morning scene chaos and jumble? Full of Him or full of only yourself?
Your Daughter’s Morning Snow-Globe
God has given our daughters their very own proverbial snow-globes. The question is, who holds our daughter’s snow-globes? Do we believe we hold them in our own hands? Do we awaken them in ways that are convenient for us, with our own agendas, pushing them onto a path we have chosen for their day? Or do we awaken them gently and help them to seek God in the stillness of their mornings? Are we pointing our daughters immediately toward shaking themselves silly, or are we teaching them to yield to God’s gentle rocking?
My favorite way to wake my girls is to slowly open their blinds and sing a little chorus about how God’s mercies are new every morning. Then I love to lean over to kiss them and whisper, “Good morning, Glory.” I love to see their sleepy smiles and hear them whisper back their love for me. I encourage them to take a few minutes to slowly move into the day God has planned for them, and to seek His will for their day. It is a beautiful way to begin the day.
Your Daughter’s Evening Snow-Globe
The end of the day—the settling of our snow-globes—is just as important as the beginning of the day. When our work is done and we’ve walked through our days, how do we settle our daughters for sleep?
Often my mind and heart are still in fast forward when it’s time to settle my daughters into bed, thinking about all the work I still need to do after they are in bed. Or longing for the quiet and rest I have after they are asleep. I have to remind myself it is important to guide my daughters through this special time at night. It is a mother’s place to teach our daughters to gently quiet themselves and move smoothly into the stillness.
When my babies were young, I spent time nursing them down to sleep. I fed them at my breast and rubbed their soft heads; I sang over them and whispered prayers in their small, pink ears. As they have grown, I have changed techniques, but my aim has always been to love them during those special moments. Over the years I’ve taught them hymns, told them stories from my childhood, listened to their dreams and hopes, and worked through difficult issues they’ve encountered during their days. I am blessed to be a part of their settling times.
Your Evening Snow-Globe
Finally, moms, how do we settle ourselves? It’s true we have a lot to accomplish in our days and are shaken up quite a bit. But what we do with the last few minutes of our day can usher us gracefully into peaceful sleep if we are intentional. My favorite nights are the ones when we go to bed before we are ready to go to sleep. My husband and I play cards together or read side by side in bed. Sometimes we read and pray through Stormie O’Martian’s book The Power of a Praying Parent. When we take the time to settle, we are able to move past day-to-day “shop talk” into heart-conversation, which includes sharing how God was present in our days.
How do you settle yourself at night? Do you find you fall into bed exhausted, never giving yourself a chance to see how your snow-globe scene has settled? Or do you give God the opportunity to show you your own heart and set it aright? Don’t miss that opportunity; God is waiting for you each night.
Consider…
[a few questions to mull over in your own heart]
- God designed a daily rising up and lying down, and He longs to meet us in those places. How have you been, or can you from now on, give time and place to Him during these?
- What specific ways can you yield to Him in the morning? Awake five minutes early? Say a prayer before you get out of bed? Use your shower time to ask Him His plans for your day? How can you embrace Him from the first?
- What specific ways can you teach your daughter to yield to Him in the morning? How can you express His tenderness and new mercies and guide her into loving Him first thing?
- Honestly, how do you fall into bed each night? Filled up with television? Dragging your tired bones into bed and collapsing? (I do that sometimes, I admit.) Or do you take the time to chat with God about your day, thanking Him for His presence?
- What specifically can you do to settle your snow-globe each evening? What ushers you into His presence, His stillness, His peace?
- What specifically can you do to settle your daughter’s snow-globe? How can you communicate to her that God wants to spend time with her before she drifts off to sleep? How can you show her He is waiting at her bedside to hear all about her day?
Commit…
[storing God’s Word in your heart and soul]
Ask God to help you choose your memory verse for the month. Craft it, post it and memorize it. You will be asked to recite it with your daughter at the next group gathering.
Write…
[ideas for your mother-daughter journal]
Idea: Tell your daughter the different bedtime routines you’ve had for her through the years. Ask her if she remembers the earliest ones. Ask her which are her favorites.
Idea: Share your own childhood bedtime routines (good ones) with your daughter. Tell her about special mornings and evenings you experienced in your own childhood.
Idea: Ask your daughter how she would like to be awakened and put to sleep. Tell her how you would like to be awakened and put to sleep. (Maybe you can plan to care for each other in those ways.)
Respond…
[ideas for special time with your daughter]
Idea: Put together a “Bedtime Box” full of special photographs, things she’s made, mementos from your childhood, music cd with special songs, etc. to pull out at bedtime. Use it regularly or just on special occasions. Add to it as you go along, and think about sending it with her when she moves out.
Idea: Record the two of you singing your favorite bedtime songs. Allow her to fall asleep to the recording.
Idea: Wake your daughter with a special song, music cd, or phrase. We like Steve Green’s Morning Light: Songs to Awaken the Dawn. We also like to play the special music we played during their deliveries.
Idea: Pray for God to give you and your daughter a special song to sing at bedtime. Repeat the song every night as part of your routine. We sing a benediction from the New Testament; I believe the tune and the words are now engraved on their souls.
Idea: Have tea in bed with your daughter. In the morning, or just before bed (make sure it’s decaf), bring in a beautiful tray of tea and cozy up to your daughter in bed. Ask her what’s going on in her mind and heart. Then simply sip and listen.
Progress…
[what comes next]
After you read the teaching and choose your memory verse, use the questions, ideas for journaling, and ideas for carving out special time with your daughter as God leads. Remember, discipling is not checking off a list, it’s developing a relationship. If you are hosting the next group gathering, make sure to schedule your planning session for about two weeks from now. Your leader will email the next Participant Guide and Hostess Guide to you.
Pray…
Oh, Lord, you hold our every moment in Your hands. You planned for special new beginnings with each sunrise and tender mercies each with each dusk. Thank You for creating these precious times when we can see hearts clearly, as You always do. Use these times to align us with Your heart and Your plans for us. We love you so dearly, and we want to live in close communion with You each and every day. We praise You in the name of Your Son, who experienced the blessing of drawing close to You each morning and evening when He lived on earth. Amen
April 07, 2010
How We Walk
Our Sonflower Sisters group had a fantastic time hiking the Ma and Pa Trail last Sunday to kick off our newest lesson. The girls imitated the women's walks. Evidently I have a very feminine walk. Which is good news, I suppose.
The girls chose walking sticks and brought them back to Mel's house to decorate them. What a fun reminder of learning to walk the road of life together.
I have to admit that this month's lesson has been tough for me. Knowing my girls are really listening to my every word and imitating me has been weighty. I try to weigh every word carefully now, making sure my talk is matching my walk. I'd never have thought the words "talk" and "walk" would come in that order. God is so good to continue to reveal His ways to me, and I thank Him for the opportunity to lead my girls on His path.
The girls chose walking sticks and brought them back to Mel's house to decorate them. What a fun reminder of learning to walk the road of life together.
March 30, 2010
Guest Post: Kicking Off Lesson Three: As We Walk Along the Way
Today we had the pleasure of hosting our monthly "Sonflower Sisters" meeting at our house. This is our fourth year participating with Sonflower Sisters - a group of elementary aged girls and moms mentoring group, created by Deb @ As We Walk .
The theme verse this month is "You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them...as you walk by the way". Deut. 11:19 We talked about how the women in the bible days walked to the well to retrieve the water for their families, and wondered what kinds of things they encountered, what mothers and daughters talked about and what they might have talked about with the other women. We compared that to what it looks like for a modern women today to "walk by the way". For most of us it looks like driving in our cars - grocery shopping, after school activities, appointments... we tend to be very much "on the run".
What are our girls hearing "as we walk"? What are we teaching them? Are we complaining? Are we commiserating with other mothers about our challenges? Are we gossiping? What are we showing our girls that a woman does when in company with other women? Our girls are watching our every moves - they are forming in their minds what it means to be a wife and a mother one day. I pray that we show them to listen to each other's hearts, to encourage one another, to speak wisdom into others lives, to give hope. I know I am guilty myself of not always doing that.
We also talked about how in our rushed lives we often overlook those who might be in need of our help or our companionship. We should strive to teach our daughters to look outside of themselves, and to put aside their own activities of pleasure and to see what they can do to help others. Including them in serving others teaches them the joy of giving over receiving, and how to "love our neighbors as ourselves".
A few of the girls made some cards to send some encouragement to others who were in need.
Some of the busy mommies helping with our flip-flop craft - we made cute flip-flops as a reminder of what they should think and talk about as they "walk along the way". (Hey - your feet can be cute as you walk!!)
And the girls traced their feet, and their moms feet and wrote out the verses on them that they plan to memorize over the next month until we meet again.
I so much enjoy the fellowship of these other moms as we together walk through this journey of what it means to mother our daughters in the way the Lord calls us to.
Originally posted by Heather at Timeless and Treasured. Check out her amazing work on her photography blog.
The theme verse this month is "You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them...as you walk by the way". Deut. 11:19 We talked about how the women in the bible days walked to the well to retrieve the water for their families, and wondered what kinds of things they encountered, what mothers and daughters talked about and what they might have talked about with the other women. We compared that to what it looks like for a modern women today to "walk by the way". For most of us it looks like driving in our cars - grocery shopping, after school activities, appointments... we tend to be very much "on the run".
What are our girls hearing "as we walk"? What are we teaching them? Are we complaining? Are we commiserating with other mothers about our challenges? Are we gossiping? What are we showing our girls that a woman does when in company with other women? Our girls are watching our every moves - they are forming in their minds what it means to be a wife and a mother one day. I pray that we show them to listen to each other's hearts, to encourage one another, to speak wisdom into others lives, to give hope. I know I am guilty myself of not always doing that.
We also talked about how in our rushed lives we often overlook those who might be in need of our help or our companionship. We should strive to teach our daughters to look outside of themselves, and to put aside their own activities of pleasure and to see what they can do to help others. Including them in serving others teaches them the joy of giving over receiving, and how to "love our neighbors as ourselves".
A few of the girls made some cards to send some encouragement to others who were in need.
Some of the busy mommies helping with our flip-flop craft - we made cute flip-flops as a reminder of what they should think and talk about as they "walk along the way". (Hey - your feet can be cute as you walk!!)
And the girls traced their feet, and their moms feet and wrote out the verses on them that they plan to memorize over the next month until we meet again.
I so much enjoy the fellowship of these other moms as we together walk through this journey of what it means to mother our daughters in the way the Lord calls us to.
Originally posted by Heather at Timeless and Treasured. Check out her amazing work on her photography blog.
March 28, 2010
Lesson Three: As We Walk
Hearts Drawn Close
Lesson Three: As We Walk
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them…as you walk by the way.” Deut. 11:19
Imagine a catastrophe takes out your town’s water supply and roads and you must walk thirty minutes each day to collect water for bathing and cooking. You set out early to avoid the crowds and take your daughter with you—the more hands the more water you can carry. As you walk along the way, you run into your neighbor and her daughter; you gladly greet one another, grateful for some good company, and the girls fall into step behind you. They giggle as they imitate your movements, pretending to be grown up. Then they listen to your conversation—after all, they wonder what women talk about, since they’ll be women someday soon.
Dear mothers, what do they hear? Is your conversation full of grumbling about the storm and the inconveniences it has created? Do you pine for things to be back to “normal?” Do you fall into gossip about neighbors? Do you complain about what you are lacking? Or is your conversation seasoned with love and wisdom? Are you taking time to encourage one another? Do you think to check on your elderly neighbor and take her water jugs along with you?
What your daughter hears from your mouth tells her what is important in life.
More, Faster Walking
It might be far-fetched to pretend you have to carry water, but that is the way the women travelled “by the way” when God gave the command in Deuteronomy 11. In 2010, we “walk” differently. We drive, in our cars, traveling faster and longer than those women of old. We grocery shop, attend school, visit the doctor and the dentist, take our cars to the mechanic, and purchase household essentials—all miles (and minutes) from our homes. It seems these days we are more “on the run” than ever. So, the big question what do our girls hear from our mouths as we take care of the business of life?
Are we complaining about poor customer service? Joining right in with griping about the cost of the dance costumes? Do we focus our conversations on what life will be like when we’re not running our children to all their activities? Or do we remember our girls are listening, and speak of what is really important?
I tell you I’ve been guilty of spending far too much time and energy commiserating with other mothers about our challenges and difficulties. I am ashamed to say I’ve taught my daughter that sharing our struggles (more like complaining, if I’m honest) is what a woman does when in the company of friends. Oh, that I could take back years of idle talk. Oh, that God will grant me the grace to change my ways. I want to teach my daughters that it is important to hear others’ hearts and encourage them; it is vital to speak life-giving words to them; it is necessary to give hope to friends, not burden them with mindless chatter.
Walking With Others in a New Way
It’s important to be aware of where we’re walking. Often we are isolated in our own cars, not thinking much about who we pass along the way. Sometimes we forget that leaving the house isn’t easy for some. Or in our haste to get where we’re going, we don’t think about who along the way might need our help or companionship. I want to challenge you this month to think about ways you can serve others “as you walk by the way.” Is there someone stuck in the house you can run an errand for? Can you stop by to see a lonely neighbor on your way home? Could you offer to take your neighbor who doesn’t drive with you on your next trip to the grocery store?
While we may not be able to provide the “walking to the well” scenario for our daughters—which seems rich in opportunities for service and fellowship—we can, with a little forethought, incorporate serving and fellowship with others in our plans. In doing this we teach our daughters to look outside themselves, to look past the activities that bring them pleasure and make their lives easier. We invite them to look to the needs of others, as God calls us to do when he says to “love our neighbors as ourselves.” When we include them in serving and allow them to see the joy on others’ faces, we help their hearts to grow bigger.
Martha’s Oven
One way you can serve others as you “walk by the way” is to participate together in a ministry like Martha’s Oven. This ministry of Mountain Christian Church provides meals for parents of newborns and newly adopted children during their first week at home. You and your daughter can spend time together making the meal and maybe even decorating cards for the families. Then you can arrange a time within your travels to drop off the meal. What a privilege and joyful way for you both to meet the needs of a “neighbor.”
If you would like to participate in Martha’s Oven, email me at sonflower sisters at comcast dot net and I will put you in touch with the Sister who heads our team.
Consider…
[a few questions to mull over in your own heart]
What is the biggest chunk of regular “walking” time you share with your daughter? (A time that occurs on a regular basis?) How can you prepare for this time together? How can you incorporate spiritual lessons into this time?
Do you recognize when your daughter is following in your footsteps? How do you react? How can you include her when appropriate? Brooke likes to sit with me and my friends like one of the “big girls.” I try to be generous, allowing her to stay with us as our conversation permits, even inviting her to join in as she can. I have noticed that she will assume my posture and ask the same types of questions I do when she is with her girlfriends now. This time with me is allowing her to become a young lady. But it wasn’t so long ago that I would shoo her away immediately, protective of my “adult” time.
What is your attitude toward “walking?” Are you grateful for the opportunities you have, or do you grumble and complain about your responsibilities? If you do grumble, to whom and how? Can you come up with ways to stop yourself? For instance, if you generally take calls while on the road and end up frustrated, can you turn your cell phone off while you drive?
Are there ways you and your daughter can serve others as you walk along the way? Think about the folks you see and pass on a regular basis. How can you help to meet their needs and show them they are important to you and to God?
Commit…
[storing God’s Word in your heart and soul]
Ask God to help you choose your memory verse for the month. Craft it, post it and memorize it. You will be asked to recite it with your daughter at the next group gathering.
Write…
[ideas for your mother-daughter journal]
Idea: Share with your daughter how you traveled as a child. Tell her about your car, the places you went, and who was there. Girls love hearing stories about their moms as children.
Idea: Ask your daughter what kind of transportation device she would invent and why. Share your own idea.
Idea: Ask your daughter is there is anyone on her heart to serve. Come up with ways to incorporate other people into your daily “walk” and write them in your journal.
Idea: Ask your daughter to tell you honestly what she hears you say when you “walk” together. Give her multiple choice questions with words such as “honest,” “loving,” “complaining,” and the like. Share some words that describe her interactions with others as she “walks.”
Respond…
[ideas for special time with your daughter]
Idea: Read a book about olden-times (like Little House on the Prairie) and talk about the difference in how people traveled. How are our journeys different and similar?
Idea: Write your Scripture memory verse on cutouts of your footprints. Laminate them and tape them to the floor. Walk on them as you memorize your verse.
Idea: Together look at your daughter’s baby footprints. Talk about how we “walk” differently as we grown. Ask her what she thinks her “walk” will look like when she’s a grown woman. (This would also be a fun journal entry.)
Idea: Choose a way to serve someone else as you go about your daily business and do it. Talk with your daughter afterward about how it made her feel. Share Scriptures that show God’s heart for caring for the widows, orphans and poor.
Idea: Purchase some audio cd’s of Christian songs and/or Bible stories to listen to in the car.
Progress…
[what comes next]
After you read the teaching and choose your memory verse, use the questions, ideas for journaling, and ideas for carving out special time with your daughter as God leads. Remember, discipling is not checking off a list, it’s developing a relationship. If you are hosting the next group gathering, make sure to schedule your planning session for about two weeks from now. Your leader will email the next Participant Guide and Hostess Guide to you.
Pray…
Lord, in our culture we move so much, but sometimes we forget we are teaching our daughters to move during it. Please keep Your hand over our mouths when we are tempted to speak in ways that do not honor You. Please fill our mouths with words that praise You and bring Your life to those You have placed in our lives. And remind us of those You have put in our “way” to serve. Your Word says you have created us for good works which you prepared ahead of time for us to do (Ephesians 2:10); show us Your plans. We want to be a part of what You deem important. Thank You for allowing us to see ourselves clearly through the study of Your Word, and for the hope You offer in Your Son Jesus. It’s in His name we pray, Amen.
Lesson Three: As We Walk
“You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them…as you walk by the way.” Deut. 11:19
Imagine a catastrophe takes out your town’s water supply and roads and you must walk thirty minutes each day to collect water for bathing and cooking. You set out early to avoid the crowds and take your daughter with you—the more hands the more water you can carry. As you walk along the way, you run into your neighbor and her daughter; you gladly greet one another, grateful for some good company, and the girls fall into step behind you. They giggle as they imitate your movements, pretending to be grown up. Then they listen to your conversation—after all, they wonder what women talk about, since they’ll be women someday soon.
Dear mothers, what do they hear? Is your conversation full of grumbling about the storm and the inconveniences it has created? Do you pine for things to be back to “normal?” Do you fall into gossip about neighbors? Do you complain about what you are lacking? Or is your conversation seasoned with love and wisdom? Are you taking time to encourage one another? Do you think to check on your elderly neighbor and take her water jugs along with you?
What your daughter hears from your mouth tells her what is important in life.
More, Faster Walking
It might be far-fetched to pretend you have to carry water, but that is the way the women travelled “by the way” when God gave the command in Deuteronomy 11. In 2010, we “walk” differently. We drive, in our cars, traveling faster and longer than those women of old. We grocery shop, attend school, visit the doctor and the dentist, take our cars to the mechanic, and purchase household essentials—all miles (and minutes) from our homes. It seems these days we are more “on the run” than ever. So, the big question what do our girls hear from our mouths as we take care of the business of life?
Are we complaining about poor customer service? Joining right in with griping about the cost of the dance costumes? Do we focus our conversations on what life will be like when we’re not running our children to all their activities? Or do we remember our girls are listening, and speak of what is really important?
I tell you I’ve been guilty of spending far too much time and energy commiserating with other mothers about our challenges and difficulties. I am ashamed to say I’ve taught my daughter that sharing our struggles (more like complaining, if I’m honest) is what a woman does when in the company of friends. Oh, that I could take back years of idle talk. Oh, that God will grant me the grace to change my ways. I want to teach my daughters that it is important to hear others’ hearts and encourage them; it is vital to speak life-giving words to them; it is necessary to give hope to friends, not burden them with mindless chatter.
Walking With Others in a New Way
It’s important to be aware of where we’re walking. Often we are isolated in our own cars, not thinking much about who we pass along the way. Sometimes we forget that leaving the house isn’t easy for some. Or in our haste to get where we’re going, we don’t think about who along the way might need our help or companionship. I want to challenge you this month to think about ways you can serve others “as you walk by the way.” Is there someone stuck in the house you can run an errand for? Can you stop by to see a lonely neighbor on your way home? Could you offer to take your neighbor who doesn’t drive with you on your next trip to the grocery store?
While we may not be able to provide the “walking to the well” scenario for our daughters—which seems rich in opportunities for service and fellowship—we can, with a little forethought, incorporate serving and fellowship with others in our plans. In doing this we teach our daughters to look outside themselves, to look past the activities that bring them pleasure and make their lives easier. We invite them to look to the needs of others, as God calls us to do when he says to “love our neighbors as ourselves.” When we include them in serving and allow them to see the joy on others’ faces, we help their hearts to grow bigger.
Martha’s Oven
One way you can serve others as you “walk by the way” is to participate together in a ministry like Martha’s Oven. This ministry of Mountain Christian Church provides meals for parents of newborns and newly adopted children during their first week at home. You and your daughter can spend time together making the meal and maybe even decorating cards for the families. Then you can arrange a time within your travels to drop off the meal. What a privilege and joyful way for you both to meet the needs of a “neighbor.”
If you would like to participate in Martha’s Oven, email me at sonflower sisters at comcast dot net and I will put you in touch with the Sister who heads our team.
Consider…
[a few questions to mull over in your own heart]
What is the biggest chunk of regular “walking” time you share with your daughter? (A time that occurs on a regular basis?) How can you prepare for this time together? How can you incorporate spiritual lessons into this time?
Do you recognize when your daughter is following in your footsteps? How do you react? How can you include her when appropriate? Brooke likes to sit with me and my friends like one of the “big girls.” I try to be generous, allowing her to stay with us as our conversation permits, even inviting her to join in as she can. I have noticed that she will assume my posture and ask the same types of questions I do when she is with her girlfriends now. This time with me is allowing her to become a young lady. But it wasn’t so long ago that I would shoo her away immediately, protective of my “adult” time.
What is your attitude toward “walking?” Are you grateful for the opportunities you have, or do you grumble and complain about your responsibilities? If you do grumble, to whom and how? Can you come up with ways to stop yourself? For instance, if you generally take calls while on the road and end up frustrated, can you turn your cell phone off while you drive?
Are there ways you and your daughter can serve others as you walk along the way? Think about the folks you see and pass on a regular basis. How can you help to meet their needs and show them they are important to you and to God?
Commit…
[storing God’s Word in your heart and soul]
Ask God to help you choose your memory verse for the month. Craft it, post it and memorize it. You will be asked to recite it with your daughter at the next group gathering.
Write…
[ideas for your mother-daughter journal]
Idea: Share with your daughter how you traveled as a child. Tell her about your car, the places you went, and who was there. Girls love hearing stories about their moms as children.
Idea: Ask your daughter what kind of transportation device she would invent and why. Share your own idea.
Idea: Ask your daughter is there is anyone on her heart to serve. Come up with ways to incorporate other people into your daily “walk” and write them in your journal.
Idea: Ask your daughter to tell you honestly what she hears you say when you “walk” together. Give her multiple choice questions with words such as “honest,” “loving,” “complaining,” and the like. Share some words that describe her interactions with others as she “walks.”
Respond…
[ideas for special time with your daughter]
Idea: Read a book about olden-times (like Little House on the Prairie) and talk about the difference in how people traveled. How are our journeys different and similar?
Idea: Write your Scripture memory verse on cutouts of your footprints. Laminate them and tape them to the floor. Walk on them as you memorize your verse.
Idea: Together look at your daughter’s baby footprints. Talk about how we “walk” differently as we grown. Ask her what she thinks her “walk” will look like when she’s a grown woman. (This would also be a fun journal entry.)
Idea: Choose a way to serve someone else as you go about your daily business and do it. Talk with your daughter afterward about how it made her feel. Share Scriptures that show God’s heart for caring for the widows, orphans and poor.
Idea: Purchase some audio cd’s of Christian songs and/or Bible stories to listen to in the car.
Progress…
[what comes next]
After you read the teaching and choose your memory verse, use the questions, ideas for journaling, and ideas for carving out special time with your daughter as God leads. Remember, discipling is not checking off a list, it’s developing a relationship. If you are hosting the next group gathering, make sure to schedule your planning session for about two weeks from now. Your leader will email the next Participant Guide and Hostess Guide to you.
Pray…
Lord, in our culture we move so much, but sometimes we forget we are teaching our daughters to move during it. Please keep Your hand over our mouths when we are tempted to speak in ways that do not honor You. Please fill our mouths with words that praise You and bring Your life to those You have placed in our lives. And remind us of those You have put in our “way” to serve. Your Word says you have created us for good works which you prepared ahead of time for us to do (Ephesians 2:10); show us Your plans. We want to be a part of what You deem important. Thank You for allowing us to see ourselves clearly through the study of Your Word, and for the hope You offer in Your Son Jesus. It’s in His name we pray, Amen.
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